First, let me tell you all, I've never allowed myself to be an artist. What was the value in it or me if I were to become one? The thought of introducing myself, "Hello, I'm Jeannine and I'm a starving painter." Seriously, do artist even make money? Weren't soup kitchens created for them...those Artists? Driven by money and the need to prove myself how could art fulfill this identifying necessity of success that I so craved...our so needed to portray? From high school picking my classes, to my important college education, and finally my daily life that involved survival disguised as success where in the world would art fit in?
What I can tell you with definite wisdom is that if you are a true born artist you can't run from it. It will find you. During high school I avoided all classes that wouldn't further my desire for a higher education. Why would I take sewing if I could take physics. Just like reading a fiction novel when I could read about computers...one is a waste of time and one is critical for success. Well, so I thought. After years of these types of decisions, repressing my artistic instincts, something happened. First, I became attracted to others that repressed their feelings in the name of success. As you can see that "picture" isn't exactly pretty. This is the part where it will find you, art that is. Over the years, constantly working having no hobbies I developed a big spending habit. Well, now this is the interesting part, because what I bought was a sign of a major issue. In deed, anything and everything to create art. The irony of it was with every art supply I bought I also got the book on how to do it. I would stay awake at night thinking of how I was going to take my old jeans, attach them to a canvas, blow up a picture, glue nicknacks down, and hang it in my front room. A friend would be talking to me and I would be obsessing about the cloud formation behind her head that I wished I could photograph. Eventually, I bought a Canon camera and dreamed of the day I would leave my tired old town, go to the mountains, and take beautiful scenery images to decorate my house. As timed passed, the success didn't matter anymore. The marriage went bad. Suddenly, I couldn't breath in that awesome community that everyone was killing themselves to live in. It just wasn't all what it was cracked-up to be...it all failed me.
Along comes my prince who takes me away from it all. Instead of taking pictures and putting them in my house I moved to where the pictures were outside of my house, for real. Everything in life changed with the help of a loving relationship and just simply growing up. The stress of the rat race behind me and everyday walking outside to really smell the roses or the mountains as we call them. Regularly, I find myself trying to describe the beauty of the clouds that back-up on my side of the mountain, how the snow covered mountains glow when the sun shines through, how the streams gush with crystal clear water in the spring, and how the gothic looking trees whispers stories of the time past. Daily, I'm thanked by my children for moving them to such a special place that they want to raise their children here.
With every assignment I find that I've learned not only about photography but about myself. I really didn't know I had so much to express and how my own art would touch me so deeply at times. Being a woman and a mother you are driven by so many emotions and fears. You want to keep your children safe, you want to be loved, you want to grow and evolve, you want a safe life where expressing your dreams is allowed, and you want to bring happiness to the ones you love. So you ask why I do photography and why am I an artist? Well, with my camera, I can take an image that can capture a feeling, an emotion, a special glance, how darling my daughter is as she grows into a woman, and how adorable my son is when he looks at me and sees Wonder Woman. No really, he has said I look like and I am Wonder Woman since he was 4 years old.
This series of photographs may just look like some snow covered mountains on the way to Lake Tahoe. At first that's what I was going to call them. However, that wouldn't really capture what they are. So here it goes...catching my breath....After being driven to breakfast on Mother's Day with parents I'm so fortunately to have, with a man that I love so deeply I feel safe to express my dreams to without fear, with my children that I love and am so proud of for their strength and wisdom beyond their years, and me sitting in the passengers side of the car, stopping at each point that we all love...taking my pictures. These are the same mountains I would admire as a young girl on the way to go snow skiing year after year with my parents. Now, my parents enjoying watching me with my children on this same route. As we would stop, I would jump out and snap the pictures with Dale inching the car forward to get the perfect angle, my children pointing in different directions, my parents eewing and ahhhing with every shot, and me feeling so lucky and blessed so have such an amazing family that everyone was supporting my art....supporting me. You may not believe this but the true beauty was not what you see in these images it was what was behind the camera. However, I think I may have captured that in my images. The clouds bringing rain to support the trees with water, the snow to support the streams and all it's creatures, and the sun keeping the whole system life supporting. The beauty of it all for me is getting to capture that one moment before it is gone so you can remember it forever. Like my son trying to explain how amazing his mommy is just like Wonder Woman my camera taking these pictures shows you how wonderful my life is.
In conclusion, I took many images for this assignment but I was so drawn to these landscape photos. I know they are considered the types of images unexperienced photographers are drawn to. However, I just couldn't stay away from them. So instead of fighting it I really thought about what they represented to me and why I wanted them as my final 10. In closing, I knew these images were the best representations of me, the artist because it's not always what is in the image but who took them, why they took them, and how they took them. So, I took them because I have always wanted to take these types of cloudy, stormy landscape images. Now the best part, I got to take them on Mother's Day, with everyone I love supporting me and telling me what a great photographer I am. With my daughter looking up to me telling me I inspired her to get on yearbook staff, my Mom telling me we are going to plan a day taking pictures on the delta, my Dad asking for prints to show off at his work, my son so excited to use my old camera to take photos too, and Dale so proud of me for managing to keep my grades up and following through with my goal I set out to do. We are an outdoors, close, loving family that support each other and this trip was extra special because we took the time to stop and really appreciate nature and each other. With all that in mind, I'm calling this series "Wonder Woman's Road to Tahoe." I also dedicating this series to my mother the original Wonder Woman!
My grading for this assignment
Hi Jeannine, First allow me to say congratulations for completing the class with flying colors. As I'm sure you're already aware, you really gave the class your full attention and it showed. After reading your statement I gained a lot of really essential knowledge about your past, what you learned to change it and who you've become in your family context. I want to give you some notes to keep in mind for your future work so you can continue to expand both your creative vision and technical abilities. Regarding your statement specifically, I definitely gained an understanding of why you've become a photographer and what type of subject matter you're drawn to visually. There were some awkward sentences in your statement that could be improved by breaking the thoughts down into smaller pieces but the overall concept was clear and well relayed. As a small note, it's a bit on the long side and could benefit from some editing simply to make it more concise. It may seem, well, painfully American, but the general attention span for reading about art and the work of artists is very small. For this reason, it's best to really hone down the concept you're sharing so that it hits the key points quickly and effectively. A good exercise would be to go to a museum (the SF MOMA if possible!) and read the small paragraphs on the walls that preface each exhibit (and the ones that explain the smaller groups of work by that one artist). This would give you a good sense of how to edit down your statement without losing your point and it's effectiveness. On a personal note, I was really touched by your story and how you have redirected your life to a more fulfilling existence based on your own definition of success and happiness. Regarding your images, again, GREAT JOB. I'm glad that you mentioned your initial aversion to photographing beautiful scenery because we all know how much amateur photographer's love a good sunset. However, when natural beauty is captured thoughtfully and with a consistent vision it can be quite effective. Your images have a similar compositional style which is something that must be learned over time but simply cannot be taught. I would hazard to say that my least favorite image may be the one that employed the most Photoshop work (14_1_2) because it looks a little too "fake". However, I want to applaud you for allowing yourself to shoot what engaged you in spite of the reservation about it's banality in the art world. As I've mentioned several times during our class discussions, ALWAYS give yourself permission to shoot "bad" pictures. For me, this means taking that silly sunset shot if you're compelled to do so. Eventually, you'll be less drawn to the sunset and more drawn to the qualities in the environment that it creates. It's a process, often a long one, but I'm confident you're well on your way. You may have also noticed that trees seem to be a dominant compositional element in your work so you may want to push that forward a bit and see where it takes you. All in all it's been a delight to review your work and watch your process. As I've mentioned before, if you ever have questions or want some feedback you're always welcome to contact me via my regular email address: blocked Congrats again and I wish you the best of luck and a healthy family. (Blocked Teacher)
